Bon Iver’s new album, SABLE, fABLE, came out last month. I have enjoyed all of the Bon Iver catalogue—really anything that Justin Vernon gets involved in—and this album is no different. Justin often explores spiritual themes. And even if he tends to be ambiguous, I find space in the songs to explore spirituality, as well. On the new album, the song that has interested me most is entitled, If Only I Could Wait.

If Only I Could Wait is an amazing collaboration with Danielle Haim. What I’m hearing is the difficulty of giving relationships the time, the patience that they need to succeed. Justin sings:

If only I could wait
But before me is a ways out
Can I live inside this state?
Where the summers are charades now
Can I incur the weight?
Am I really this afraid now?

For what’s at stake
Oh, babe
I’ll take the pain

As a pastor, my community and congregation consist of many people who aren’t considered neurotypical. They teach me many lessons, and one of the most important is that relationships take time. Then more time. And then even more. Our society doesn’t know this or understand it.

But can I learn that lesson? If only I could wait… Can I incur the weight? Am I really this afraid now? So much of wait we do in life is caused by fear. But if I can learn to live with the fear, if I could hold the pain, then I’d give love a chance. Then a relationship could grow. Maybe a life could bloom.